Perfection

Well, last week, my husband and I went in to refinance our car.  As the banker was updating our information in his system, he added dependents' ages under my husband's account.  My husband looked it over and asked, "what is this 40 here?"  The banker replied, "Well I didn't know your wife's age, so I just estimated.  It really doesn't make any difference anyway."  Oh, yeah???  It made a difference to me...I'm 37!

Today, one of my coworkers saw me walking down the hall.  I had removed my lab jacket, so I was wearing just my top and pants.  She came up to me and said, "Wow.  It looks like you've missed a few runs on the treadmill, haven't you?"  I couldn't believe it!  Over the previous 2 years, I have lost 50 #.  I have gained back 8 in the last 3 months, but I still weigh 126, so it isn't like I'm obese.

In just a few days, I have gone from being young, vibrant and attractive, to being old and fat!!!

Good thing "man looks at the outward appearance, but God looks at the heart" (sorry, I don't remember the reference for the verse).  I guess I will be working a lot more on the heart part, since the body isn't so hot.  (and I should probably invest in some wrinkle cream!)  I am so glad that my self-esteem isn't wrapped up in what people think of me.  Just wait until we all get to heaven and have glorious new bodies, like HIS body.  Then we will really see how far short even the best of us are!

prayer

I have been spending a lot more time in prayer and Bible study since our pastor's challenge, but I have to admit, it has not been easy.  As I have been praying, I have been overwhelmed with questions about how/why prayer works.  I understand that God wants us to communicate with him.  How else can a relationship grow?  I also understand that God is great enough and powerful enough to meet all of our needs and heal our infirmities, whether physical, emotional, or spiritual.  And I understand that God has a plan for each of us, and that if we follow it, we will surely be blessed.  I ask often for understanding and guidance, that I will be able to discern the plans that He has for me.  But I really struggle when it comes for asking him for specific things, such as healing someone's illness, as I know that God is really the only one that knows what the outcome will and should be.  I wondered, "Does it really make any difference if I pray for someone?  What if God has a plan for that person, and I am asking for something that is not his will?  What if what I am asking for is already his will, and he is already doing it?"  I guess this is my own feelings of inadequacy showing through, as I feel unworthy to ask him to do something that only he can do anyway.

In any case, I was praying specifically about this on Tuesday.  I asked God to help me understand more about prayer, as I obviously don't fully grasp what it is all about.  That's when I met Connie. 

I had been praying for her for months.  She had been in a serious accident several months ago and needed healing.  When I met her, for the first time, I could see for myself that she was strong and vibrant and had been blessed by God.  She had an exuberance about her and was quick to tell me what a miracle had been performed in her life.  God had healed her in a way that only He could.  She was emphatic that it was only through the prayers of others that she was well.  I was so inspired, not only in her healing, but in God's response to my own prayer.

I still don't understand how it makes a difference for one person to pray for another, or why God listens to any of us in the first place, but I am more sure than ever that it is a vital part of our relationship with him and with each other.  I may never find out all the "how's and why's," but I will continue to make prayer an important part of my spiritual life, knowing one day, He will show me the answers to all of my questions.

This week, our pastor challenged us to spend an hour a day in prayer and study of God's word.  I must admit, I probably only spend about an hour a week studying the scriptures, and I am one of those pray-on-the-fly kind of people, so I have no idea how much time I spend in prayer.  I eagerly accepted the challenge, in front of my peers, my pastor, and...my enemy, the devil.

I don't know why I had to start this adventure on the same weekend as daylight savings time.  And, as with all of the other times that I have endeavored to improve my connection with God, I have found this to be a difficult challenge.  The first day went fine.  But by the second day, Satan had devised plenty of schemes to keep me from my plan.  I was too tired in the morning, so I only got in 12 minutes of Bible study, as I hurried to get myself and my family ready for work and school.  I figured I could get the rest in on my lunch break and after work.  Then, work was so busy that I didn't get a break.  (another lost opportunity).  I worked late, and had to go shopping.  I got home just in time to begin making dinner.  Then, before I knew it, it was bedtime.  I managed to squeek in a little time as dinner was cooking, but I didn't make the hour goal that had been set.

At this point, as with any goal, I have two options:  to keep trying, or to give up.  Satan has had my entire lifetime to study me, and he knows exactly what it takes to make me fail, and he has vested interest in making me fail at spiritual growth above all else.  He can either make the situation seem hopeless, so that I can quit, or he can make me focus so hard on meeting the time goal, that I lose focus on the real issue, spending time in the word and building a stronger relationship with God. 

So, I have set out to continue to meet the goal of one hour a day.  But, I will not lose site of the most important fact:  God is more interested in the quality of the time I spend with him than the quantity.  He will bless every effort that I make, and then some.  So, I am thankful for the time that I did spend, the lessons that I did learn, and the opportunity to meet with Him again, day after day, moment by moment, from now into eternity.  And I will make every moment count!

What is man?

I belong to a small group that meets weekly to fellowship and read the Bible and other Christian literature, and to discuss its application to our daily lives.  Last evening, we were discussing the life of a Bible character, a man named Job.

 

Job, through no fault of his own, suffered the tremendous loss of his wealth, his family, and even his physical health in a matter of days.  Satan had accused God of favoring Job, and surmised that Job would not worship God if God would withdraw his blessings on Job and his family.  God allowed Satan to take everything away from Job, except for his life, in order to prove that Job would remain faithful.

 

In the end, Job came out on top and was blessed even more than before, as he did remain faithful to God.  But this story raises a few questions:   Is God just sitting up there, playing games with us?  Why are we even here?  What does God think of us?

 

One of our group members suggested that we are to God as an ant is to us.  We are so lowly and so far separated from the majesty and intellect of God that we can never know his thoughts or plans.  I agree with this, to a point.  God is the creator of everything in the universe.  His power is unsurpassed.  He spends his days in glory beyond our imagination.  His throne is surrounded by angels, and Cherubim, and Seraphim, and creatures so magical that the prophets couldn’t even describe them.  So what could we possibly add to the equation?

 

I wish I could say that I have answers to these questions.  Maybe, someday, I can discuss them with God, face to face, and know the answers.  But what I do know is this:  God gave everything he had, in the life of his very own Son, Jesus, the only Son he ever had or will have.  Jesus endured a suffering we will never know, even to the point of death on the cross.  He did this for the human race.  Not for angels, not for any other creature.  He did it for you and for me.  That makes us more valuable that anything in all creation.  And if He values us this much, I can be sure that he is not just playing games.  This is for real.  Whatever his purpose for your life or for mine, we can be sure that it is significant.

Acceptance

This week, a student nurse came to me with a problem.  The patient he had been assigned to had opened up to him and shared that she was depressed about being at the end of her life and that she wished she would just die.  The student was beside himself.  How was he supposed to respond to something like that?  I asked him, "What did you do?"  He said, "I just sat there.  I didn't know what to say."

I explained to him that, in spite of our natural tendency, as nurses, to want to heal people and to "fix" things, the best way to respond to a situation like this is to simply listen.  We cannot solve problems like aging and death.  People have a right to be depressed, or angry, or whatever else they may be feeling.  Our job is to encourage the patient to trust us with their thoughts and feelings, and to accept them as they are.  We help by validating their feelings, and therefore, validating them as a person.

This made me think about how we treat others as Christians.  We want to bring people to Christ.  We want to let everyone know that Jesus loves them.  But so often, especially corporately, as "the church" we fail to accept people as they are, to validate them.  When we should be telling them, "Jesus loves you.  He created you, and you are special, just the way He made you," we send the message that "Jesus will love you once you become one of us."  We expect them to change who they are, when it is really Jesus that changes people.  It is not our job.  We are to listen, to share, to encourage people to trust us with their thoughts and their feelings and to validate each and every person as a true son of God, equal in standing to every other son of God.

Imagine what an impact we would make, as Christians, if we were all loving, accepting, comforting, and encouraging toward everyone.  If God is love, then we should, as the body of Christ, be love, too.  Leave the "fixing" to Him, and just accept our neighbors and friends, and our enemies, too, as children of the King of the universe.