I am having trouble with my teenage daughter right now. She has been ditching school to hang out with her friends. When I ask her what she has been doing, or who she has been hanging out with, she tells me that it is none of my business. When I tell her that she has to go to school, or anything else for that matter, she tells me that she doesn't have to do what I tell her, and I can't make her. This really frustrates me, especially since she is right. While I do have a few tricks up my sleve, and I can encourage her to make the right decisions, I cannot make her do anything.
This made me think about how God must often feel when we make the wrong choices. He has given us direction, commandments, and other "rules" to help guide us, so that we can have the best life possible. But we don't always choose well. Often, we decide to go our own way, do our own thing, and, like my daughter, tell God "I am going to do it my own way, and you can't stop me." And, like earthly parents, God doesn't force us. He allows us to make our own decisions and reap the benefits and suffer the consequences of the decisions we make. But, like earthly parents, God is affected by the decisions we make. He weeps when we head down the wrong path, as I weep when my child chooses to disobey. He knows the outcome of our ill-conceived plans, and He wishes for us to turn away from those things that will lead us away from Him.
All of this has made me even more aware of what a great and loving God I have, and I am so thankful for His patience and understanding. And this will give me the strength to be patient with my child and prayerfully allow her to find her true path, even when it means suffering the consequences of her poor decisions.
2 comments:
This has come at a perfect time, as I am having problems getting my daughter to do her school work and make each assignment count as much as possible. I read this to her so she understands the 'big picture' better, even from the perspective of another parent. Even though she's a Freshman in High school, I've given her the analogy of each assignment being put into her 'grade bank' and wanting it to be as full as possible at the end of High school. There are 'things' I have 'leaverage' with, but taking them away doesn't always work. I, too, ask & thank God for patience in dealing with her.
She sounds like a girl after my own heart! Although I was much more passive in my rebellion... I had friends who would challange their parents in this manner. I preferred to say, "Yes," then do whatever I wanted to do anyway.
Then as I got older and had daughters of my own and most of them became "me," and mostly ignored my warnings and efforts to "raise" them. It was about this time that my father shared with me his philosophy of child-rearing that he had used on us. (I hadn't even been aware that he was using a "philosophy of child-rearing!") He said, "Raising a child is a lot like fishing. There are times when you must jerk the line to set the hook. Other times you have to give'em the line or they'll break it. They'll run with it awhile till they tire, then you can ease them into the net of God's love and on board."
It seemed reasonable to me... even if he wasn't much a fisherman, he turned out to be a fine father. The older he got the wiser he seemed.
Maybe someday, I will become "wise" to my children!
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